Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Tuesday isn’t much better.  But isn’t that a lesson, to just keep plugging until you get to the next place.  Which is hump day, then Thursday, which kinda feels like Friday, and then Friday and the weekend.

I’m not one to wish my life away. In fact, I’ve noticed that with time come new bills. Oh joy. But the bills have to be paid, just as sure as there’s a Monday sometime within the next week.

I came up short a few months ago due to an illness in the family in Chicago.  I was working all day, then driving up the Stevenson every night (fun, not) to the hospital.  Between the gas costs and helping out on some of the expenses, I was out about $400 when it came time to pay bills.

I went to a car title loan store for the cash. At least this way I knew I could keep everything paid.  I went to Romeoville Title Loans because they’re all on the Internet. The money was fast and I have been gradually paying it off. I took care of family and my bills and now, this year, I hope to take care of myself — seven days a week.

By the way Romeoville is near Bolingbrook, Naperville, Downers Grove, Willowbrook, and Darien.

Here’s my advice to the men of world: Don’t get married, find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It’s a lot easier on you.

I did love my exwife for the year we dated. The 18 years we were actually married were another story. And now that the divorce is final, it just amazes me how I had to buy back my half of the house from her that my earnings paid for in the first place. And that doesn’t account for all that Ann Taylor Nieman Marcus Manolo Blahnik stuff she rang up on the AmEx all those years. She got herself a townhouse in Burr Ridge where she’s probably being a cougar to all the helpless young bucks there. Good riddance.

But I kept the cars: the Mercedes for work, and the SUV for weekends in Indiana (a guy can’t spend his whole life in Hinsdale if he’s smart). And oddly, those cars were a source of $5000 I needed for a little business investment during the divorce. I didn’t want anything technically on the books at that time so I took out a car title loan for the money. The great thing about car title loans – I went to Hinsdale Title Loans online – is that you get the cash in 24 hours. Which is what I needed.

I’m dating again. And that’s all the further it goes. Works for me. I can’t afford to buy my house a third time.

By the way Hinsdale is near Western Springs, La Grange, Countryside, Burr Ridge, and Willowbrook.

I’ve been job searching for about six months now.  In this economy, it’s pretty tough.  So my friend, Bubba, gave me some advice on what to say and not say in job interviews:

• Don’t ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say; ‘Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that.’
• Don’t constantly fidget with underwear waistband, then blurt: ‘The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don’t ya’ think?’
  
• After detailing your greatest achievement, don’t qualify with, ‘Of course I was totally hammered at the time.’
  
• Don’t claim you wouldn’t even need a day job if Al Einstein hadn’t stolen your secret patent for ’2000 Flushes’.
  
• Don’t over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.

So far, I’ve stuck with this list.  But in the meantime, I needed to make some car repairs so I could actually go on interviews, and didn’t have $600 just lying around waiting for such things.  So I looked into car title loans on the Internet and found Downers Grove Title Loans, a great, easy place to find cash fast.  Now that you can get a car title loan on the internet, there’s no need to go to some slimey store and wait around for an approval.  The funds were transferred electronically to my bank account in a day, and I was able to make those repairs happen in time for my next interview.

By the way Downers Grove is near Westmont, Willowbrook, Woodridge, Hinsdale, and Glen Ellyn.

I love my wife.  She’s gorgeous and has a big heart.  But she’s blonde and fits the stereotype.  Some of the standard jokes fit her.  For example:
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

She locks the keys in the car all the time.  We’ve had to call a tow service four times in the past six months.
Q: What does a postcard from a blonde’s vacation say?
A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?

We planned a trip to go see my sister’s family in Fayetteville, South Carolina.  She booked a trip to Fayetteville, Arkansas.  The plane was in the air before we realized what happened.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say “Hello”

This doesn’t really happen.  Or did it when she was a kid?

Either way, there is a price to pay for her being this, uh, challenged.  Changing our trip plans to the correct Fayetteville cost $1400 and ten hours of flying, layovers and connections. More than twice I’ve been caught up short on money, enough to postpone some important home and car repairs.  But I got to thinking about car title loans one such time, and the more I looked into it the more sense they made.  I decided to use Darien Title Loans — it’s a car title loan company that is all online, fast, easy, and the money is sent electronically to your checking account.

My wife asked me where we got the money to fix the roof on the garage.  I told her it was from the car.  “OK,” she said, no questions beyond that.  God, I love her.

By the way Darien is near Woodridge, Willowbrook, Lemont, Romeoville, and Downers Grove.