Ten percent of the Russian government’s income comes from the sale of vodka. Which explains my brother’s wife he found on the Internet.

I swear, that woman came here from her country just to drink more. He was crazy to have married her after knowing her a month.  They would go into Birmingham and party, then come back to Hoover to sleep it off in my back bedroom. When they got married, I told them they’d have to get their own place.

Of course neither of them had much sense to save enough money for a security deposit on an apartment. I told them to go where I go when I’m short on cash, to Hoover Car Title Loans.  They could use the collateral on his Mitsubishi sports car, which he did. No way I was going to loan them the cash – I’d never see it again.

I don’t even let my kids go over to that rats nest of an apartment.