Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Tuesday isn’t much better.  But isn’t that a lesson, to just keep plugging until you get to the next place.  Which is hump day, then Thursday, which kinda feels like Friday, and then Friday and the weekend.

I’m not one to wish my life away. In fact, I’ve noticed that with time come new bills. Oh joy. But the bills have to be paid, just as sure as there’s a Monday sometime within the next week.

I came up short a few months ago due to an illness in the family in Chicago.  I was working all day, then driving up the Stevenson every night (fun, not) to the hospital.  Between the gas costs and helping out on some of the expenses, I was out about $400 when it came time to pay bills.

I went to a car title loan store for the cash. At least this way I knew I could keep everything paid.  I went to Romeoville Title Loans because they’re all on the Internet. The money was fast and I have been gradually paying it off. I took care of family and my bills and now, this year, I hope to take care of myself — seven days a week.

By the way Romeoville is near Bolingbrook, Naperville, Downers Grove, Willowbrook, and Darien.

I am taking some classes, including philosophy, at the NIU campus on Diehl Road, and used an axiom from Socrates to explain why I didn’t have an assignment finished: Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. At least, I think Socrates said that.

Truth of the matter is I have to work two jobs in addition to going to school part time just to afford everything. Everyone thinks life in Naperville is easy street, but circumstances have conspired against me lately and I’m doing the best I can. That philosophical excuse didn’t exactly work, but I persevere.

I came up short on cash because of my parents’ alimony situation last semester, and I wasn’t sure I could even take the two classes I wanted, which were prerequisites for classes in the spring semester. So missing that semester would basically put me a year behind where I was already. Not cool. So my mom offered for me to take a car title loan on her mini van, which suddenly made me a little less critical of that ugly ass vehicle. I had never heard of car title loans so I went online and found, you guessed it, Naperville Title Loans. I filled out the form, got an email saying we were approved about ten minutes later, and the money was in my mom’s checking account the next day.

Time was not a problem with that loan. In fact, it saved me a TON of time by allowing me to take classes on schedule.

By the way Naperville is near, Aurora, Woodridge, Bolingbrook, Romeoville, and Warrenville.

There are certain things that one should never do. For example, never, under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Makes sense, right? And it’s kinda funny – the outcome would be inconvenient, to say the least. But I used to have a boss who would not think of the conflict here. He would do that kind of thing.

Well, when I lost that job it came with the idea of not dealing with such a moron. And I knew I could encounter the challenge of unemployment fairly well. What I didn’t count on was being out of work as long as I was – spare cash ran out, as did the unemployment checks. I certainly didn’t purchase anything extravagant at that time, but then I had an unexpected event — my mother in Bosnia became seriously ill, and I had to fly at the last minute to Sarajevo. That was $3100, round trip, money I did not have.

But I thought about it and realized my paid-for Saturn, only five years old, could be collateral for car title loan. I searched online and found Lockport Title Loans, which gets you your money in less than 24 hours. I needed that – and was able to get home to see my mother one last time (no sleeping pills needed on the flight).

By the way Lockport is near, Crest Hill, Joliet, Romeoville, Plainfield, and Bolingbrook.

I love my wife.  She’s gorgeous and has a big heart.  But she’s blonde and fits the stereotype.  Some of the standard jokes fit her.  For example:
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

She locks the keys in the car all the time.  We’ve had to call a tow service four times in the past six months.
Q: What does a postcard from a blonde’s vacation say?
A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?

We planned a trip to go see my sister’s family in Fayetteville, South Carolina.  She booked a trip to Fayetteville, Arkansas.  The plane was in the air before we realized what happened.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say “Hello”

This doesn’t really happen.  Or did it when she was a kid?

Either way, there is a price to pay for her being this, uh, challenged.  Changing our trip plans to the correct Fayetteville cost $1400 and ten hours of flying, layovers and connections. More than twice I’ve been caught up short on money, enough to postpone some important home and car repairs.  But I got to thinking about car title loans one such time, and the more I looked into it the more sense they made.  I decided to use Darien Title Loans — it’s a car title loan company that is all online, fast, easy, and the money is sent electronically to your checking account.

My wife asked me where we got the money to fix the roof on the garage.  I told her it was from the car.  “OK,” she said, no questions beyond that.  God, I love her.

By the way Darien is near Woodridge, Willowbrook, Lemont, Romeoville, and Downers Grove.

My wife was due to have a baby in about two weeks, and she said to me, “the more pregnant I get, the more that people on the street smile at me — why do you think that is?”

I said it’s because she’s fatter than them. Which didn’t exactly make her happy. So I had to go out and buy a “I’m sorry” gift. And this buddy of mine said it’s always gotta be jewelry when she is having a baby. Who knew? Who writes these rules?

So I took her to the Jared on E. Boughton Road. What a mistake. At the end of that visit I was $3500 in the hole. This is the price of not keeping my trap shut.

And this is when we had already maxed out on the credit cards and I’m pretty nervous about my job. So my same friend, who is sometimes bright, told me to go online for a car title loan, at a place called Bolingbrook Title Loans. It was smart advice – it was fast, easy, got my money in a day and therefore could pay off the jewelry bill and some of the medical expenses from her delivery.

She had a girl. They’re already ganging up on me. I’m doomed.

By the way Bolingbrook is near Woodridge, Lemont, Romeoville, Lockport, and Crest Hill.