I like to bring a flash light to the movies and just have all the rows move down for no reason.  I know it’s bad.  My friends think it’s funny, but my girlfriend says it “mortifies” her. She loves me.

She really got upset that time we were in the city and there was this mime guy doing his thing. I thought it was really embarrassing for him, so I stood up and did narration. She didn’t like that either.

But there is a reason she sticks with me. I’m a genius. Secretly, but a genius nonetheless. When she had a problem with money a few months ago, she wanted me to lend her $400.  I don’t have $400 sitting around, but I didn’t tell her that. I said, sure, but you will have to make me dinner every Friday night for a year as interest.  It totally worked.

I got the money off the value of my car.  I went the Wheaton Title Loans, where I got that cash in one day. So in the end, she is further convinced of my studliness and intellect, and I get a fine meal every Friday instead of me having to pay in a restaurant somewhere.

Next time someone gets out a flashlight at the Wheaton Grand Theater and asks you to move — say hi.

By the way Wheaton is near Warrenville, Winfield, Glen Ellyn, Lombard, and Naperville.

There are some questions for which I have no answers: Like, are snakes afraid of other snakes? Why is it that most irons have a setting for ‘permanent press’ garments? Do hermits ever suffer from peer pressure?

I tell ya, I was worried about that last one for my own sake a few months ago.  Lost my job, home equity loan maxed out, credit cards maxed out too. Was down to my last unemployment check when I figured out something I had never heard of before.  Your car, if paid for, can be collateral for a loan.  That was me.  I was truly down to not knowing if I would have money for food or the mortgage/taxes. So I went ahead and contacted Warrenville Title Loans.  They were willing to lend me $3000 on my old car. Which was more than what I needed at the time.

Now, things are turned around.  I’m working again, paying the bills, and even paid off that car title loan. It helps to consider the questions for which you have no answers (yet).

By the way Warrenville is near Eola, Marywood, Naperville, Warrenville, West Chicago, and Wheaton.

I wanted to tell everyone of this great Chicago company called Mortgage-Help-Center. These guys helped me so much and I want to share my story with the public. I gave them permission to use this story but they did not ask me to do it. I wanted to do it.

I was behind in my payments. I was actually about to go 3 months behind and I was getting non-stop calls from the bank. I kept asking them if they would help me and maybe push the payments back but they were not even the least bit interested in helping me. All they cared about is telling me that they would have to take action soon which I figured was they were going to foreclose on me.

So I got an email from Mortgage Help Center and to be honest, I was a bit nervous. The ad said they could stop a foreclosure and that was enough for me to go to their web site. I filled out the few questions they asked for on the site and in about 10 minutes someone called. A nice gentleman named Fred. Anyway, I explained the deal to Fred and he said that there was a couple things they could do for me which I never thought was possible. First, they could get me a fixed rate instead of an adjustable. Big news because my adjustable just went up 2 points. He also said they could get my past due payments forgiven. Finally they could even lower my principal a bit and get a longer term on my loan.

I checked and sure enough they have an attorney on board that is pretty well known so I did it. In less than a week it was done. Now get this, I dont have to make a payment for 3 more months on TOP of all the things Fred told me about. I figured this saved me tens of thousands of dollars and most importantly stopped the foreclosure form happening.

Thanks guys and for all you readers out there.. use them. Just click that link I put in above. They can help stop a foreclosure in Chicago and do a lot more with their loan modification program.

By the way Chicago is near, Des Plaines, Hoffman Estates, Naperville, Orland Park, and Oak Park.

My wife has her pretentious friend and her blowhard husband from Geneva come over for dinner about every six months. I tried to fake being sick the last time but she figured out my plan when she saw I was scheduled to play golf the next morning.

Anyway, the last time they were here they were using their French they were studying in preparation for a trip there. Like we didn’t all backpack through Paris when we were in college, looking for Jim Morrison’s grave? Since we were having a barbecue I casually mentioned “dijon vu – the same mustard as before,” and they totally bought it.  Idiots.

I also laughed when I heard they never took that trip to France.  Seems like a little layoff problem got in the way. Not like any of us are immune.  I’ve been consulting now for two years since I took my package from the bank. It’s a good life sometimes, but sometimes you’re waiting on an invoice and some bills come due and you’re not sure how to pull it off.  That’s why I am quite familiar with St. Charles Title Loans.  They spot me with cash against my Lexus just when I need it.  Last time I took $4000, the time before $5000. You get the money in a day, pay your bills, then pay off that one when your own money comes in.  I’ve kept a clean credit record despite all adverse circumstances.

Take that to France, losers.

By the way St Charles is near, Addison, Downers Grove, Naperville, Winfield, and York.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Tuesday isn’t much better.  But isn’t that a lesson, to just keep plugging until you get to the next place.  Which is hump day, then Thursday, which kinda feels like Friday, and then Friday and the weekend.

I’m not one to wish my life away. In fact, I’ve noticed that with time come new bills. Oh joy. But the bills have to be paid, just as sure as there’s a Monday sometime within the next week.

I came up short a few months ago due to an illness in the family in Chicago.  I was working all day, then driving up the Stevenson every night (fun, not) to the hospital.  Between the gas costs and helping out on some of the expenses, I was out about $400 when it came time to pay bills.

I went to a car title loan store for the cash. At least this way I knew I could keep everything paid.  I went to Romeoville Title Loans because they’re all on the Internet. The money was fast and I have been gradually paying it off. I took care of family and my bills and now, this year, I hope to take care of myself — seven days a week.

By the way Romeoville is near Bolingbrook, Naperville, Downers Grove, Willowbrook, and Darien.

I am taking some classes, including philosophy, at the NIU campus on Diehl Road, and used an axiom from Socrates to explain why I didn’t have an assignment finished: Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. At least, I think Socrates said that.

Truth of the matter is I have to work two jobs in addition to going to school part time just to afford everything. Everyone thinks life in Naperville is easy street, but circumstances have conspired against me lately and I’m doing the best I can. That philosophical excuse didn’t exactly work, but I persevere.

I came up short on cash because of my parents’ alimony situation last semester, and I wasn’t sure I could even take the two classes I wanted, which were prerequisites for classes in the spring semester. So missing that semester would basically put me a year behind where I was already. Not cool. So my mom offered for me to take a car title loan on her mini van, which suddenly made me a little less critical of that ugly ass vehicle. I had never heard of car title loans so I went online and found, you guessed it, Naperville Title Loans. I filled out the form, got an email saying we were approved about ten minutes later, and the money was in my mom’s checking account the next day.

Time was not a problem with that loan. In fact, it saved me a TON of time by allowing me to take classes on schedule.

By the way Naperville is near, Aurora, Woodridge, Bolingbrook, Romeoville, and Warrenville.

Did you hear about the new “Divorce Barbie”? It comes with all of Ken’s stuff.

Boy, don’t I know that one. My ex-wife didn’t look anything like a Barbie doll, but she got my stuff anyway. My boat, the Mini Cooper, the house and half the vacation house – for a while I thought I might have to go live in the Morton Arboretum.

I kept my Ticonderoga, which was a good thing. It’s paid for, and I use it to go everywhere. And now I use it to finance a loan — a car title loan, to be exact. I had knee surgery last summer, and even though I have good insurance I got stuck with a bunch of charges and the therapy wasn’t covered. So after the divorce and all the lawyer fees, I had to come up with $3300 bucks one month. That’s when I went online and found Lisle Title Loans. Unlike the car title loans stores you see in bad strip malls, this is easy, fast and your money arrives in one day. Got me through that scrape – and kinda made me laugh, thinking about how “Barbie” is still making payments on that Mini Cooper and can’t get this kind of loan.

By the way Lisle is near Naperville, Warrenville, Boling Brook, Downers Grove, and Hinsdale.

I’m getting a little sick of all this fitness stuff. If you ask me, I don’t want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon. I’m just being honest.

Last year my husband bought me a membership at the Curves here in Geneva. And that was after he went to Chicago Home Fitness to buy “us” a treadmill. That’s the way he spends money — always on a hope and a dream. Me, I’m happy to be part of the mainstream majority in America that is overweight and comfortable with it.

But another way we’re part of the mainstream is in our household debt. It’s gotten bigger than what we’re comfortable with. So when we got hit with a home repair bill (the boiler went out), we didn’t have the reserve or cash to cover it. And I’m not the kind of girl who can take cold showers.

So on the Internet I found Geneva Title Loans. It’s a car title loan company that uses your car for collateral. That would be our minivan. I was able to get the $1200 we needed to get a new space pack heater, which is more efficient (uses less energy) in the long run. It was a good investment, and we were able to do it pretty fast because that car title loans company gets you your money in a day. After that, I sold the treadmill on Craigslist and that helped too.

By the way Geneva is near Naperville, Wheaton, West Chicago, Winfield, and Batavia.

Lessons in marriage learned recently: The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

We got married in early July (1992). Her birthday is in late June. And I tend to mentally lump the two together, sometimes trying to get in one present for both of them. But the trick there is to hit the first event (her birthday), which then covers you on the second. It’s the 25th, but I was thinking the 28th for some reason. So once I figured out the slow burn taking place in our home, I knew I had to make amends.

Ever the penitent husband, I offered to go to the Kane County Flea Market with her the next week. She usually goes with her mother and sister from Batavia. I figured, “how much could this cost?” What I discovered is, PLENTY. Just because I had the pick-up with us, she decides this big honking chest was “perfect” for our living room. But for a mere $1000 we have become the proud owners of this fine piece of old furniture.

Which led to a little cash crunch for the past few months. My solution: go to Aurora Car Title Loans, for a short-term loan against my truck. It was a great fix: done entirely online, a car title loan is easy and fast. I had the money in a day.

A well-timed box of chocolates could have averted this whole thing.

By the way Aurora is near Montgomery, South Park, Naperville, Bolingbrook, and Wheaton.