I like to golf, and here in Crete we have a couple of decent courses at Lincoln Oaks, Deer Creek and Lincolnshire Country Club. I used to golf a lot with my boss, who has four private club memberships, but that dried up when I got laid off last year. It was a downsizing, but I think it had more to do with that night we were on a trip to a convention in Atlanta and I went on my blonde jokes riff:

Q: What’s the difference between blondes and McDonald’s?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.

Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.

Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.

Q: What’s the guaranteed method to totally confuse a blonde ?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a King-size bag of M&Ms.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

I was unaware he was dumping his wife for this trophy chic he met at the Olympia Fields Country Club. Total blonde. Girls Next Door level blonde. Apparently everyone knew about this but me. Words to the wise: keep up on office gossip. It matters.

More words to the wise: know your financial options. I was coming up on some major dental work just when I got laid off. I needed about $3200, so I took out a car title loan at Crete Title Loans. My car is already paid for, I need it to job hunt AND I need a decent set of teeth if I’m going to be employable.

And in the future, I will let my boss tell all the jokes.

By the way Crete is near Tinley Park, Olympia Fields, Glenwood, Munster, and Matteson.

I’m blonde and kinda hot, and no matter the fact I graduated from Marian Cathlolic High School and am studying at Chicago State, everyone assumes I’m dumb. I hear all the jokes: my purse is a bimbag, my figure is from going to the bimbastic surgeon, I carry a bimbeeper so I don’t get lost (it’s a GPS), I speak like bimbonese with my blonde girlfriends.

Oh yeah? Well lemme tell all you jealous brunettes and dorks from Homewood-Flossmoor high school, I know how to manage things when the chips are down. When I get pulled over by the cops in Chicago, it doesn’t hurt to unbutton a top button and then tear up a little. When my dog does a poopie on the sidewalk and I don’t have a plastic bag, I go to the first person I see and complain about how rude that other person must be who left it there.

I was short on cash not too long ago, and that’s when I found Chicago Heights Title Loans, a great way to get money from your car. Now, I am not about to sell my Beetle, but all I had to do was fill out their form on the Internet and the next day I had cash. Easy! Title loans help you when you need them most.  Smart girls know this no matter how they color their hair.

By the way Chicago Heights is near Lansing, Lynwood, Munster, Park Forest, and Glenwood.