If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

That’s been my motto since I was a student at Bradley.  And let me assure you, there’s been a lot of destruction over the years.

Like that dot-com business my brother and I started about six years ago.  We had this idea that because we were in Peoria, we could help fulfill that need for people to “play in Peoria.” I thought if nothing else, it could be a good gag gift. If someone wrote a play, they’d send it to us, and we’d find a theater group to try it out, for free, and then we could report back it played in Peoria.  Or the same thing with songs.

We self financed it, which cost us about $4000.  $2000 from me, $2000 from my brother.  When our wives found out they nearly divorced us both. And then when we didn’t get any customers, things got ugly.  Especially when I told my wife we couldn’t take the annual spring trip to Jamaica.

So after a week of major cold shoulder, I found a way to find the money.  I decided to get a car title loan at Peoria Car Title Loans.  It was a stroke of genius.  We were able to take that trip as a way of putting the failed start up behind us.  I’m sticking to my day job from here on out.  Car title loans are a great way to fix a marital spat.

By the way Peoria is near Oak Ridge, West Peoria, Morton, Groveland, and Pekin.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There’s water in the carburetor.” I said, “Where’s the car?” She said, “In the lake.”

And speaking of water problems, we just moved here to East Peoria two years ago. I have never seen such hard water. I called the East Peoria Public Works and said, “what gives with this water?” They told me a I needed a higher capacity water softener. Oh great, I said, just after all those moving expenses, buying a new house, losing money on the old one because of the housing market in Springfield, where we came from, and now I have to buy a water softener?

The wife had an idea. This is actually her idea to get around the fact that she maxed us on our credit cards and therefore can’t use them to buy things. Anyway, we went to Car Title Loans in East Peoria, where the value of our car, paid for already, gives us access to money in a hurry. We went online, filled out the application, and presto!, money to soften the water.

Given all our water problems, it’s a good thing we don’t live on a coast.

By the way East Peoria is near Pioneer, Peoria, Allentown, Morton, and Copper.