I know a few tricks in life that work really well:

1. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
2. Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
3. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

My latest one is something I discovered when I had an emergency trip to take.  Actually, it was to meet this girl I met online. Which may not sound like an emergency to some people, but if you saw her, the sirens and lights would be going off. She was in South Carolina, and the airfare was $450.  Where did I find that kinda moolah?  In my car.  Specifically, from a car title loan at Willow Springs Title Loans. They get you your money ASAP, which in this case was kinda important.

That trip went really, really well. I regret not one bit of it.

By the way Willow Springs is near Countryside, hickory Hills, Hodgkins, Indian Head Park, and Justice.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. I learned that the hard way with a group of serious players I met in Blue Island a few months back. Turns out they decided they didn’t like me and teamed up to take me to the cleaners. I lost more than $550 last time I played with them.

Which made me do some fancy footwork with my wife when I got home. Of course I couldn’t tell her about it because she got me to quit going to the Ho Chunk casino four years ago. Instead, she thought I was playing basketball again (ha!).

So getting back to my problem with the lost $550, I scratched around the Internet to find ways to get a loan. In this economy, even with a job and so-so credit that is not always possible. But I found a car title loan company, Hickory Hills Title Loans, where they honored my outright ownership of my car and were willing to loan me as much as $3000. I only took the $550, but it’s nice to know that car title loans are there when you need them.

For now, no more fancy card tricks, no more card games, no more casinos. I’ll stick to the horses — KIDDING.

By the way Hickory HIlls is near Palos Park, Chicago Ridge, Oak Lawn, Burbank, and Justice.