Lots of people doubt my stories. They say “Kurt, you always try to tell us stuff and then you go ahead and change it, then you go on and tell us more stuff. We just don’t believe you anymore, you don’t go round telling no one the truth.” And so I tried to tell everybody about how i got car title loans and how great they are. I got money right away and then I was able to take care of my family.

See my ma is real sick. Yeah she got darn sick from eating that pork my wife made. It was delicious but it was filled with that salmonella stuff. Yeah it’s delicious stuff but that’s how my wife got sick in the first place. Wait did I say my ma. I meant to say my wife, cause sometimes I get my wife and my ma confused and I call my wife ma. So anyhow my wife got the old Tuberculosis and she had to go to the hospital immediately. And I had to find money fast to pay my hospital bills. So I looked for car title loans online and found out that they were easy to get.

So now my daughter has that new set of make up that she always wanted because of car title loans in Knoxville, TN. Thank goodness for them because I was able to afford a whole new add on on my house. But they honestly did help me, I’m just bad at telling stories sometimes I get all gobbeldy gook in my mind.

Kurt W.

Knoxville, TN

My husband likes to impress everyone with his vast store of knowledge. This past Christmas he announced to everyone that In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

Yeah, he’s just an amazing pile of brains. The fact he bought a gas guzzler in early 2008, about three minutes before gas prices climbed to $4.00 a gallon was another one of his amazing moves.  He bought it with cash, too, because he had just received an inheritance. I suppose it was better than putting it into the stock market, especially with him, because his last investment in huge TV satellite dishes hit just before they tanked out of the market. He saw one at his cousin Marvin’s in Mississippi and thought it was the next big thing. What do you expect from someone who thinks it amazing he was best personal friends with Ken Kesey’s next door neighbor when he was in high school?

Well, my next big thing was discovering how his stupid, paid-for Cadillac Escalade actually comes in handy for more than camping trips. We came up short on cash a few months ago because of a broken washing machine, and I needed about $500 to get a new one. So I went to a car title loan company I found online. Sure enough, with Eugene Car Title Loans, I was able to get the $500 in two days.  Perfect solution, and finally that inheritance is helping me out too. It’s the closest thing to Superman in this house.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Like my mother in law.  She thinks that her son is perfect.  He played football in college. He majored in business. He has entrepreneurial instincts.

The smartest thing her son did was marry me. Because he hasn’t proven his business skills yet.  Love the guy, but I sure wish he could get the career thing going.

Fortunately, I have my career and keep the bills paid. But we ran into a bump in the road last year with some damage to my car, which was hard because I only carried liability, not collision insurance.  So I was looking at a $700 in damage to a car with a book value of $5000.  Worth it to fix?  Well, yeah, it was mostly cosmetic damage –the car works fine. I didn’t have a decent down payment for a new car, and credit on car loans is tight as it is.

So I looked into getting a car title loan. My mother in law thinks they’re a bad idea. I think driving a junker in the south suburbs is a bad idea. And when I thought about it, it really was a responsible idea — fix up the car that’s paid for instead of taking on a whole lot more new debt with a newer car.  So I went to Olympia Fields Title Loans, found a loan I liked and a repayment schedule I could manage.  I got the car fixed and paid it off in no time.

I’m part of the above average group, I think.

By the way, Olympia fields in near Flossmoor, Homewood, Glenwood, Hazel Crest, and Lynwood.

The reason women over 50 don’t have babies is because we would put them down and forget where we put them.

I really hate to admit things like that but it’s true. I had a list of all the IDs and passwords I need for every friggin website I need access to and, you guessed it, I lost it. My coolest new Tina Fey glasses I bought last summer? – no clue.

OK, so getting older does not have to mean we lose our minds. We just need little helpers (and funny how you quit being so critical of your own parents once you start to experience what they went through). On the finance front, I’ve had to do some dancing with bills and money that I never knew possible. My son is in college and his student loan program disappeared on him due to the banking crisis. So there I was last month, looking at a much bigger tuition bill that needed to be paid in five days or else he would have to skip the semester. What to do? Think, girlie, I said. Then he said something about car title loans, which I’ve seen on Cicero Avenue, and shuddered. No way!

But that’s when we went online and found Matteson Title Loans, a company that works with you entirely through the Internet. You fill out the form, give them your auto title information, you get approved almost instantly – and the money arrives the next day.

A car title loan was the smartest thing my college student son could come up with.  And he’ll never let me forget it, either.

By the way Matteson is also near Homwood, Flossmoor, Hazel Crest, Chicago Heights, and Glenwood.

One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.

I swear, this is true.  And the summary of the past five years of my life.  Which is why I gained quite a few LBS over that time.  And perhaps a reason I’m having trouble getting a new job.

So with the new year, despite a lack of cash, I decided to sign up for a weight loss program.  It’s pretty close to where I live in Lynwood, actually over the state line in Munster, and it includes everything: planned meals, meetings, a personal trainer once a week and a full gym membership.  Cost: $2000.  Where would I find the money?: Good question.

But I had to lose weight.  It would pay off with a better salary in the future.  So I checked out car title loans – specifically, Lynwood Title Loans – which was a fast way to get good cash for this four month program.  It was all online, took all of about ten minutes, and I got my cash in one day.

I’ve lost ten pounds in three weeks already, and have some interviews set up too.  This girl is on her way!

By the way Lynwood is near Dyer, Crete, Chicago Heights, Glenwood, and South Holland.

Because I am a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “Cumin” or “Tofu”. For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, should anyone expect me to pick up anything for which “feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism.

Sheesh. In my house, we really need to stick to our division of responsibilities. My wife, she’s good at her job, with the kids, with cooking and shopping. I’m in charge of the cars, household finances, the house and yard, the dog, and which brand of beer we keep on hand. All that and I work full time as well. We worked this arrangement out years ago.

So when we ran into a bad patch with money last year – medical emergencies, need I say more? – it was up to me to figure out what to do. Our credit cards were maxed, my commissions were down, we don’t have home equity because we bought the house in 2005, at the height of the market. And here in Homewood, it’s not like people talk much about what to do when the piggy bank is empty. I went on the Internet, searching for car title loans. But I didn’t want to have to go to one of those stores converted from a burger restaurant. What I found was online, Homewood Title Loans. They give you a car title loan based on the value of your paid-for car, and that was exactly our situation.

I got the money in a day, just beating the payment-due date by hours – and no shopping for tofu or tampons required.

By the way, Homewood is near Matteson, Olympia Fields, Hazel Crest, Markham, and Glenwood.

I like to golf, and here in Crete we have a couple of decent courses at Lincoln Oaks, Deer Creek and Lincolnshire Country Club. I used to golf a lot with my boss, who has four private club memberships, but that dried up when I got laid off last year. It was a downsizing, but I think it had more to do with that night we were on a trip to a convention in Atlanta and I went on my blonde jokes riff:

Q: What’s the difference between blondes and McDonald’s?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.

Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.

Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.

Q: What’s the guaranteed method to totally confuse a blonde ?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a King-size bag of M&Ms.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

I was unaware he was dumping his wife for this trophy chic he met at the Olympia Fields Country Club. Total blonde. Girls Next Door level blonde. Apparently everyone knew about this but me. Words to the wise: keep up on office gossip. It matters.

More words to the wise: know your financial options. I was coming up on some major dental work just when I got laid off. I needed about $3200, so I took out a car title loan at Crete Title Loans. My car is already paid for, I need it to job hunt AND I need a decent set of teeth if I’m going to be employable.

And in the future, I will let my boss tell all the jokes.

By the way Crete is near Tinley Park, Olympia Fields, Glenwood, Munster, and Matteson.

I’m blonde and kinda hot, and no matter the fact I graduated from Marian Cathlolic High School and am studying at Chicago State, everyone assumes I’m dumb. I hear all the jokes: my purse is a bimbag, my figure is from going to the bimbastic surgeon, I carry a bimbeeper so I don’t get lost (it’s a GPS), I speak like bimbonese with my blonde girlfriends.

Oh yeah? Well lemme tell all you jealous brunettes and dorks from Homewood-Flossmoor high school, I know how to manage things when the chips are down. When I get pulled over by the cops in Chicago, it doesn’t hurt to unbutton a top button and then tear up a little. When my dog does a poopie on the sidewalk and I don’t have a plastic bag, I go to the first person I see and complain about how rude that other person must be who left it there.

I was short on cash not too long ago, and that’s when I found Chicago Heights Title Loans, a great way to get money from your car. Now, I am not about to sell my Beetle, but all I had to do was fill out their form on the Internet and the next day I had cash. Easy! Title loans help you when you need them most.  Smart girls know this no matter how they color their hair.

By the way Chicago Heights is near Lansing, Lynwood, Munster, Park Forest, and Glenwood.