Q. Did you hear about the new “divorced” Barbie doll that they’re selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken’s stuff.

That’s the joke a friend just sent me. I’d laugh a little more if it wasn’t a little close to home — or, I should say apartment. Because I just lost my home to my ex-wife. She kept most my stuff, too. I kept my clothes, golf clubs and my car. “Barbie” even gets about 25% of my income for the next three years. Oh yeah, laughing at that one.

In a divorce situation, it boils down to the lawyers. Sure, I was cheating with someone she knew from the Chicago Ridge Mall (which I didn’t know at first; I met her on the Metra one fine summer day). She had her own things going on too. But that’s all water under the bridge now.

Despite my diminished circumstances, I had to buy all new furniture for my new bachelor pad. Given the economic conditions, I had to get creative and went online to find Chicago Ridge Title Loans, a car title loans store. It was easy, fast, didn’t require going anywhere, and I got my money in a day. A guy needs his high-def TV, a sofa, ottoman, and of course the bedroom furniture. Glad I worked that one out. Could Ken be so smart?

By the way Chicago Ridge is near Oak Lawn, Burbank, Evergeen Park, Bridgeview, and Worth.