A wise aunt of mine once said, for every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

She said that probably about a hundred years ago, and it’s still true today.  And even though she never met him, she could have been talking about my husband.

Trevor, bless him, doesn’t understand money. He just doesn’t.  He doesn’t understand that when you have a balance on your credit card, the fact you’re paying your minimum monthly balance doesn’t mean it will be paid off some day.  He never looks at the interest rate charges, the 28% on those cards that happens when he misses a month here and there.  And that just because you made a $400 payment doesn’t mean you should go out and spend another $400.

We got in debt deep lately, particularly when he was off work due to an injury.  Disability covers some, but not all the expenses.  It’s less than what he was making, anyway. So we had a little come to Jesus on this and realized we needed to find some cash to keep up his health insurance premiums. Without that, his medical expenses would be even worse.  So I looked at his car and said, let’s sell it. He of course went through the roof. Which was my ploy.

I had in mind all along to get a car title loan.  I already knew to go to Park Forest Title Loans, because my daughter said her boyfriend went there too and it worked out well.  With a car title loan, you keep the car, you just get some money that you pay back gradually.  I knew Trevor would get back to work in about two months, so I saw this as a way to get through it.  And we did.  And he now knows not to criticize.

By the way Park Forest is near Matteson, Olympia Fields, Chicago Heights, Crete, Richton Park.

One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.

I swear, this is true.  And the summary of the past five years of my life.  Which is why I gained quite a few LBS over that time.  And perhaps a reason I’m having trouble getting a new job.

So with the new year, despite a lack of cash, I decided to sign up for a weight loss program.  It’s pretty close to where I live in Lynwood, actually over the state line in Munster, and it includes everything: planned meals, meetings, a personal trainer once a week and a full gym membership.  Cost: $2000.  Where would I find the money?: Good question.

But I had to lose weight.  It would pay off with a better salary in the future.  So I checked out car title loans – specifically, Lynwood Title Loans – which was a fast way to get good cash for this four month program.  It was all online, took all of about ten minutes, and I got my cash in one day.

I’ve lost ten pounds in three weeks already, and have some interviews set up too.  This girl is on her way!

By the way Lynwood is near Dyer, Crete, Chicago Heights, Glenwood, and South Holland.

I like to golf, and here in Crete we have a couple of decent courses at Lincoln Oaks, Deer Creek and Lincolnshire Country Club. I used to golf a lot with my boss, who has four private club memberships, but that dried up when I got laid off last year. It was a downsizing, but I think it had more to do with that night we were on a trip to a convention in Atlanta and I went on my blonde jokes riff:

Q: What’s the difference between blondes and McDonald’s?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.

Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.

Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.

Q: What’s the guaranteed method to totally confuse a blonde ?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a King-size bag of M&Ms.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

I was unaware he was dumping his wife for this trophy chic he met at the Olympia Fields Country Club. Total blonde. Girls Next Door level blonde. Apparently everyone knew about this but me. Words to the wise: keep up on office gossip. It matters.

More words to the wise: know your financial options. I was coming up on some major dental work just when I got laid off. I needed about $3200, so I took out a car title loan at Crete Title Loans. My car is already paid for, I need it to job hunt AND I need a decent set of teeth if I’m going to be employable.

And in the future, I will let my boss tell all the jokes.

By the way Crete is near Tinley Park, Olympia Fields, Glenwood, Munster, and Matteson.