My friend Dora once asked out loud, If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Which got me to thinking about how so many people in this town have to belong to country clubs to make friends.  Isn’t that the same thing?  And in this economic recession, it’s funny how some people are just disappearing, not showing up for events and meetings and things. I bet they think they can’t afford to keep up anymore.

Look, the down turn is affecting all of us.  My income is down, even though I still have a job, but I work on commissions. I’m hanging in because I believe in recoveries and I strongly believe that when you stick with things out you come out of it better.  So with a little extra time on my hands, I decided to get an extra professional certification.  Which meant taking a trip to Salt Lake City for a seminar (I’m not a skiier, so this wasn’t fun for me), paying the course fee, then paying the testing fee.  All told, it was $1700.  At a time when I’m stretched thin to begin with.

So Dora told me to look at my Escalade. Not such a smart vehicle when gas prices are high, but it’s paid for (gawd, I miss 2005!). I realized I could get a car title loan with it, and this was a purpose that made sense. So I did it – I went to Palos Park Title Loans, a car title loans store online.  It was easy, they were willing to give me a lot more money than the $1700 (ok, I took another $300 for clothes).  And I can pay it back on my schedule, which is easy.

An education you can buy.  Your friends stick with you through thick and thin – and that includes Dora (not a Palos Park Barbie).

If you didnt know, Palos Park is also near, Worth, Chicago Ridge, Palos Heights, Orland Park and Bridgeview.

By the way Palos Park is near Bridgeview, Chicago Ridge, Orland Park, Palos Heights, and Worth.

I’m really of the opinion that he who laughs last thinks slowest.

Take my stepfather.  Please.  He tried to talk me into buying a new car last year.  Said my old Volvo, which was their car until they gave it to me when I was going to Columbia College, was looking bad in the driveway and that I should get something new.

Well, Pops, that was last year and this is this year.  My job disappeared and here I am, living back at home, with tuition to pay and health insurance and only part time income and some new tuition with classes I need to take now to get a new job. What I do have is my car, with no payments to make, and the title that enables me to borrow against it with a car title loan.  I figured this out from friend who used Orland Park Title Loans, said it was easy and he was right. I signed on, filled out a form, and found out my car could get me $2000 (I only needed $600).

Now I’m back in school, working enough to pay off that loan, and without being too obvious, laughing at my stepdad who complains his car payments are killing him.

Orland Park is also near Palos Heights, Worth, Palos Park, Tinley Park, and Chicago Ridge.

I heard my brother and his friends arguing the other day over this question: How much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

What do you expect from guys in their 20s who regular watch Sponge Bob Square Pants, then Green Acres, every Thursday night over beers. I think this is why we’re in an economic recession.

Strangely, I did pick up an idea from one of his friends. This guy has a decent job in Evergreen Park, but otherwise is as stupid as my brother.  Anyway, he’s always spending money on stupid stuff and then short of cash to pay his rent, for food, insurance, and other things.  So when he gets in a scrape, he gets a car title loan to help him catch up. He goes on an austerity budget, pays the loan back, then the next thing he does is buy a playstation or something.

Well I needed some money a few weeks ago, so I asked him where people go for car title loans.  Turns out, they’re all online now.  So I went to Oak Lawn Title Loans, filled out the application, and I got the money in a day.  Could not have been easier.

Then he asked me for a date. I told him no, I didn’t want to deprive him of time with Sponge Bob and his friends.

Oak Lawn is also near, Evergreen Park, Washington Heights, Englewood, Chicago Ridge, and Alsip.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. I learned that the hard way with a group of serious players I met in Blue Island a few months back. Turns out they decided they didn’t like me and teamed up to take me to the cleaners. I lost more than $550 last time I played with them.

Which made me do some fancy footwork with my wife when I got home. Of course I couldn’t tell her about it because she got me to quit going to the Ho Chunk casino four years ago. Instead, she thought I was playing basketball again (ha!).

So getting back to my problem with the lost $550, I scratched around the Internet to find ways to get a loan. In this economy, even with a job and so-so credit that is not always possible. But I found a car title loan company, Hickory Hills Title Loans, where they honored my outright ownership of my car and were willing to loan me as much as $3000. I only took the $550, but it’s nice to know that car title loans are there when you need them.

For now, no more fancy card tricks, no more card games, no more casinos. I’ll stick to the horses — KIDDING.

By the way Hickory HIlls is near Palos Park, Chicago Ridge, Oak Lawn, Burbank, and Justice.

Q. What do your boss and a slinky have in common?
A. They’re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.

About a month after a hundred of us got laid off, a friend sent me that joke because our department director got canned too, in the end.  Oh sweet joy.  He is a mean, awful person.

So after that little bit of Schadenfreude, I got to realizing how my dwindling finances are dwindling further, meanwhile my expenses have hit in a big bad way after the holidays.  I’ve sold stuff on Craigslist, things I didn’t need, and then I actually considered selling my car.  I take public transportation around town a lot, and ride my bike in summer.  Of course, in Chicago we have that whole crazy parking problem during the winter, so the car was on the chopping block.

But still, I am job hunting and might have to take something in the suburbs.  That would require a car, and this car has a few years of life in it still.  So I did my research and discovered that Chicago Title Loans would be a great solution.  With a car title loan, they look at your book value and calculate what they would lend you.  It helped me keep my bills paid while I work out my employment situation, and keep my wheels so I have more options on where I end up working.

By the way Chicago  is near Cicero, Lyons, Englewood, Hometown, and Chicago Ridge.

Q. Did you hear about the new “divorced” Barbie doll that they’re selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken’s stuff.

That’s the joke a friend just sent me. I’d laugh a little more if it wasn’t a little close to home — or, I should say apartment. Because I just lost my home to my ex-wife. She kept most my stuff, too. I kept my clothes, golf clubs and my car. “Barbie” even gets about 25% of my income for the next three years. Oh yeah, laughing at that one.

In a divorce situation, it boils down to the lawyers. Sure, I was cheating with someone she knew from the Chicago Ridge Mall (which I didn’t know at first; I met her on the Metra one fine summer day). She had her own things going on too. But that’s all water under the bridge now.

Despite my diminished circumstances, I had to buy all new furniture for my new bachelor pad. Given the economic conditions, I had to get creative and went online to find Chicago Ridge Title Loans, a car title loans store. It was easy, fast, didn’t require going anywhere, and I got my money in a day. A guy needs his high-def TV, a sofa, ottoman, and of course the bedroom furniture. Glad I worked that one out. Could Ken be so smart?

By the way Chicago Ridge is near Oak Lawn, Burbank, Evergeen Park, Bridgeview, and Worth.